Managing Conflict
Appreciate Conflict
Understand that conflict is not always bad. Invite disagreement to gain a better appreciation of issues. It may lead to breakthroughs.
Face the Conflict
Focus upon issues rather than on people or positions. Be soft on the people and hard on the problem.
Confront with love, talking with those in conflict, not about them. Be assertive, empathetic, and cooperative.
Build Relationships
Build relationships with and respect people with whom you have conflict. When you build relationships, the other parties are more open to working towards resolving the conflict.
Understand the Conflict
Seek first to understand the other person’s position and interests.
Discover the reasons and thoughts behind statements they make so you can fully understand their intent. Gain understanding by sincerely asking the speaker to further explain his perspective and rationale. Ask why he believes as he does.
Focus on Interests
Have everyone list their interests on the issue—precisely what they care about, the details of the outcome that matter to them. When these lists are shared, conflicting parties often find that they want very similar things. The conflict may be just in how they stated their preferred solution. Problem solving becomes less emotional.
Don’t Take it Personally
Accept and understand that you cannot make someone behave or feel a certain way or carry out a specific action.
Accept that the other person has the choice to behave inappropriately.
Pay Attention to Process
Explain consequences of behaviours, share the desired behaviours, and encourage people in conflict to follow the desired behaviours.
Ask yourself if you have the skills, authority, and resources to resolve the conflict. If you lack any of the three requirements to resolve the conflict determine how you will cope with the conflict. (e.g. Will you ask another board member to assist, hire a specialist to address the issues, or attend training to develop your skills?)
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